What are we looking for?

There are many things we do in our life.

But have we ever thought about why we do what we do? What are we really looking for?

The world is a confluence of millions of people of all continents, races, religions, and ideologies, doing different things. They look different and also act in different ways. All of us have different interests and each have a different viewpoint. We converse differently using different languages. We have different emotions and desires.

However, if we were to say there is just ONE thing we are ALL looking for, what would it be?

As I travelled around the world, I often asked people a simple question, “What would you like to achieve in your life? What do you really want?”

At first, it seemed everyone was looking for different things as they randomly said, “Good job”, “My own house”, “A nice partner”, “A loving family”, “A soul mate”, “More money”, “Wealth”. “Freedom”, “Peace of mind”, “A life purpose” There were many more answers.

I did notice that some of these requirements were of a more earthly nature while others were of a permanent nature. Earthly desires are those that we want because we do not yet have it, or think that we do not yet have it. As against this, permanent desires are not about getting things we do not have. It is about a ‘feeling’ that we yearn for, so that it does not come to an end, whatever we get or accomplish at every moment or our lives.

If we removed all the temporal desires from out list and only looked at the permanent desires, it is so obvious that we simply want to continue feeling positive feelings like excitement, enjoyment, inspiration, motivation, generosity, love, joy etc.-in another way, we want to stay being happy.

Contentment

Delightfulness is a state of emotion that every one us are longing to experience. Every one of us may define it in a different way. We may even evaluate it differently. We may sense it at varied levels of intensity. But without doubt, we have something in general when delightfulness comes to us. And when we understand this secret about delightfulness, we hold the knowledge to become more delighted, and to make others around us too feel the same sensations.

This life, that we live, is a mystery. All of us like it in our own different ways. We may also dislike it in different ways. We may wonder about it. We may cherish it. Or we may just accept it in an offhand manner. But what is the ultimate purpose of this life? What if the mystery of our existence is at hand? What if its revelation actually brings us happiness and fulfilment when we come face to face with it?

What if the secret of our life purpose, and of happiness, is as simple as this:

It is all about bonding.

Relationship is everything

Everything is about connecting. Everything is part of everything else. If we look at our own life, it says it all. Then we will start to see the real purpose of our life.

Why do we do something, ANYTHING at all, in life as human beings?

It is simply because we want to connect more and more. We make friends to feel connected. We get married to connect with someone more deeply and more permanently. We create a family to feel even more connected. We go out to meet more people to connect with, not only to get practical benefits from those connections, but also to feel more connected to the world.

We get ourselves good clothes or go to a beauty parlour to bond better with our physical appearance or aesthetical sense. We choose to try out different types of food to bond better with our sense of savour and aroma. We dine out to get on better with people we would be sharing the meal with. We buy mobiles and computers to bond better with the entire world and its people. We read books and newspapers to remain connected to what is happening around and what others are going through. We study things and learn things to bond better with knowledge that others value.

All that we do is done to satisfy the need for that bonding. If we have no bonds with our own body, we do not even need to sleep or eat. Our bonds to all our senses tell us to do certain things to satisfy the demands that the body makes. If we disregard these pleas of our body, we feel pain and discomfort. And over and above our basic needs, we search for a bonding of a loftier type – the bonding to our existence – the bonding to our purpose. And without those bonds, it is just bare. Just like the barrenness many of us feel within when we have no bonds even to ourselves. It is just not the right way we are supposed to live our lives.

Relationship is powerful, and yet it’s fragile and tender..

When we can’t feel the sense of connection in a relationship, we go for separation, divorce, arguments, judgment and resentment. It never feels good to feel disconnected. But we could even feel in love with someone one day and feel totally remote and resentful toward that same person the next day. The feeling can change just by a flick of a finger. And it could be your finger or theirs!

When we feel disconnected

When the relationship is not there, we start seeing problems. We start seeing differences and hindrances. We start sitting upon judgement of others and disapproving them. We exaggerate, concentrate upon, and give energy to such things that we see as problems. Under such a scenario, these problems might turn inwards and inflict pain and disapproval on ourselves. We cannot be fully happy when we have no associations with anything.

Relationship: the Secret to Happiness

What if we are looking at the whole idea from the other end? When we do it, we realize this simple reality: we cannot feel miserable when the bonds are strong. It is just not possible!

Try to feel grouchy when we have a good relationship with the people around us and smiling and sharing things completely. Even when we have ‘problems’ in life, we can still smile together and feel delighted when we are bound together in a good relationship. At the same time, it is hard to be happy if we do not have that edifying relationship.

Connection: Our Life

Connection is the core of everything. That’s what life is. Connection.

Things are just a combination of smaller parts. Things connect together to form a greater whole; the way our bodies are collections of smaller units, cells, organs, molecules and atoms.

Our actions and choices also express the need for connection. We are designed to constantly seek ways to connect to each other and to a greater purpose.

Connection and Religion

Some of us have opted to become a part of different religious systems to feel better related to each other. The relationship that we yearn to build could be to God. It could be to those who share the same belief system. When there is the sharing of a similar conviction, there is a stronger relationship within that group. More bestowing on each other takes place among people who feel related to each other.

Relationship and Business

Many people begin an enterprise to feel better bonded to themselves by being in control of their fate. But often in the entrepreneurial world, we end up being more and more segregated especially when we start viewing other ventures as contenders, staff as instruments and customers as a money flow. But the basic point of why we got into the venture was to feel the power of that bonding. So, why do we need to fashion that disconnection at all? May be in the perfect world, all business ventures worked differently, but hand in hand.

Bonding and Wars

Some of us even give rise to polemics or battles to enjoy a sense of ‘success’ or maybe a greater feeling of assurance and self-worth. But this only boomerangs. The moment we are ‘successful’ in the battle, we are really severing the bonds with others. We are now in need of more confidence to safeguard ourselves from being assailed by others. The result is that we become more vulnerable and frightened. We cannot treat this as a joke because it actually happens to each one of us in diverse ways.

It may be the arguments we have with people around us. It may be the negative judgement we make when we feel something or someone is wrong. When we try to be the only one to win, we can never win in the real way-we feel disconnected. We can only truly celebrate the victory with others when we win together. Then we feel connected.

No matter how differently we express our needs, everything we do is to fulfil the mere desire we have to feel and be connected.

The full sense of a bonding is realized only through our heart. We can bond with anybody when we are truly concerned about them and feeling that bond with them. If we are conscious of this, giving life to that required state of mind is really easy, uncomplicated and a pleasure. Then we would actually feel more delight and joy.

Life is a sport. We feel things and do things in a grand game but in reality the aim of any game is the pleasure we get out of it. It is not about doing something or having something. When the sports finally end, the winners are only the ones who have derived pleasure from the game. Not the ones who had more at the final tally. The upshots and end results of the sports in which we participate do not affect our actual life. But if we lost all our friends to participate in a game just because we wanted to win in that round, would it lead us to a lasting victory?

It is so easy to understand this in the example of playing a game, but we often become blind in our own everyday game called life. We forget so easily that it is also just a game.

Even if we don’t know when this game actually started and when it would end, we know that it somehow started in the past and it will end someday. When we close the lid of the game box eventually one day, can we simply say, “Wow, it was so much fun. Let’s play again!”

In the sports of life, the aim of the game is to establish a relationship. We can keep connecting until we all unite to become one. It is the one way to constantly feel the relationship to our objective – the feeling of pleasure and delight. We cannot feel detached from the relationship to anything or refuse and conclude even one thing if we are to achieve a lasting relationship.

Life is as easy as that. There is only ONE secret.

And the secret is to bond.

To grow into ONE

To relish.

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An Example Of Personal Ethics Could Change Society.

How does one become an example of personal ethics, and what should we base our ethics on?Most people base their ethics on feelings and emotion.

But following your feelings does not always lead to ethical behavior.Think about what would happen if everyone acted out in anger.Religion, by itself, is also not the most reliable basis for ethics.

Although many religions promote high ethical standards, what about people of different faiths with differing ethics? If ethics is based on religion, how are atheists supposed to know how to act?

Mark Cella on Ethics and Values

Obeying the law is no guarantee of ethical behavior. Laws change; ethics should not. And there are countless examples of unethical laws throughout human history.

Perhaps we should base our ethics on whatever society accepts. But this is no solution because whole societies can be unethical, such as Nazi Germany.

And how would we even know what ‘society’ accepts? Are we to take a public opinion poll every time a question of ethics arises?

Morals are the way we act. Ethics is the way we should act.

Ethics has a societal and a personal meaning. In general, our personal ethics should be reflected in our relationship to our society. Ethics impacts our understanding of rights, obligations, and privileges.

Mark Cella on Ethics and Values

Our societal ethics should be well-founded and should reflect our personal ethics. If it is a good thing for a person to be honest in their personal relations, it is also good for a person to be honest in their public dealings. And it is also good for our society to be one where honesty is encouraged and honored.

Personal ethics means that the way we expect others to act in public, we should act in private. It means that we should expect and strive toward excellence and honorable relations with our personal friends and acquaintances, as well as our society. This, of course, requires that we closely examine our personal ethics.

If we pay attention to our personal ethics, and make sure that we are ethical in all aspects of our lives, societal ethics will improve naturally. It does not work the same the other way around, however, because we know that society is not always a good basis for personal ethics. Of course, someone should tell that to Congress.

Our societal ethics flow from our own personal ethics, and not the other way around. This concept is fundamental to improving our society. If we tried to change societal ethics through direct mandate, we would run into the problem of basing ethics on the law. It would be a self-defeating endeavor.

Want to find out more about Mark Cella, then visit Mark Cella’s site on for a variety of humor and serious topics Mark Cella.

Your really should have a specific idea of what you want well before you start searching for the company that can give it to you. This enables you to reach out to only those companies that accommodate the specific work that you are looking for. Before you start getting quotes or checking on service history, take a tour of your house and jot down notes regarding you expectations.

You can research online for tips on drafting a more formal and comprehensive list of specifications to submit to contractors for quotes. You want to have at least a rudimentary understanding of the details of the scope of work that you are asking for. Having adequate and precise specifications can save everyone frustration in the long run.

The Lafayette, LA Better Business Bureau or BBB can certainly help you in your search. They keep files on companies that have had complaints brought against them. They also supply potential consumers with the names of companies that are well-reviewed. In general it is true that consumers who take the time to file compliments and complaints offer genuine, trustworthy feedback that can be invaluable in locating a good business.

You can also search local painters online. Just as when shopping using the BBB, make certain to read the available ratings and reviews to see what companies have a history of doing great business. With both methods make a list of companies to whom you can fax your specifications to in order to request quotes. Make certain to schedule a house tour as well because the more information that a contractor has, the more accurate your quote will be.

When you choose a painting company, make certain to read the contract carefully before signing it. Try not to feel pressured into signing on the spot, instead take your time to research and understand the fine print. There are key areas if left unaddressed that might turn out to be a major headache in the future.

One prime example of this are issues surrounding waste removal. Some companies include this as part of a standard contract, while others may have no contractual obligation to remove their waste at the completion of the job. Such issues make it necessary that you have a clear understanding of the jargon and pricing before making any commitment, monetary, contractual or otherwise. With a little extra diligence you can find a professional painter Lafayette LA that will provide superior work at competitive prices.

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To get started, you have to crosscheck the website to verify that it is not a fake. You should see what everyone else’s opinion on the online casino is before hand.

A litmus test for any online business, even casinos, is to go online and find out what review sites and other search engine results show about the website. If you get “no results found” then you will know that you are up for a cruel disappointment.

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The online casinos will normally have two modes with which you can play the fames. You can choose to have the software required for running a trick installed or keep doing them directly from the browser. It is up to you.

Once you have started doing the gambling on an online casino, you should have in mind that you are better off playing a game that you are conversant with.

When you are betting money in the online casinos, you should be careful about spending the money. You should start by making low figure bets before you go into big money. Continue adding the figure as you gain experience.

It is a good practice to read all the fine print in the terms stated before you go ahead to play the casino games. You should also drop the idea that you can swindle the casino money in any way possible. There are dire consequences if you are busted.

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