Jarod was a client who was done with it and ready to leave his wife. “My wife Christina really does hate sex,” he told us. “At least since our kids were born. Is there any way you can help me so I want to save this marriage instead of hitting the road?”

Jarod told her about us and she decided to come to our sessions as well. “I love Jarod but I can’t stand his touching me,” she said. “I know he’s ready to leave, but if it means that I have to put up with his sexual stuff, I don’t care if we save this marriage or not.”

If sex disgusts you – if it’s a bother – or a waste of time – or it hurts – or is repulsive – or makes you feel dirty – or used – or you never experience pleasure from it…you need to realize that your reactions are not normal.

The thing to remember is that people don’t start thinking or acting a certain way for no reason. If you think you’ve gone through all the causes, forward and backward, and have come to the conclusion that sex is still all the things we mentioned above, don’t pass on this yet. There may be one important factor missing that will instantly start the improvement.

Other brain chemicals are released, too, like serotonin and endogenous opioids, the body’s equivalent of heroin. Sex really does relax you and improve your mood. It’s also why some people can immediately go to sleep.

Science is a major factor in this process. When two people engage in sex, two of the neurochemicals that are released are vasopressin and oxytocin. These two chemicals interact with one small but very important part of the brain that is not activated by any other emotion. This area of the brain is the same one that generates the euphoria induced by drugs – like cocaine, for example. The brain’s addiction chemicals are the same ones produced by love. What happens in your body and brain can, to a large extent, cause you to get addicted to love and the person whom you love.

Serotonin and endogenous opioids are the body’s equivalent of heroin creating a state of euphoria. Sex really does relax you and improve your mood. It’s also why some people can immediately go to sleep. All of these things tell you one thing. Only that sex is important to all of us on a number of levels: emotional, psychological and physical; gluing relationships together.

* There was a priest/pastor and/or a parent who told her that, according to the Bible, sex is dirty and shameful, and she should indulge in it only to have a baby. The Bible teaches no such thing. The bible actually teaches just the opposite.

* Her religious beliefs tell her to believe that the Bible denounces sex as dirty and shameful, and that having a child as the result is the only purpose. The Bible teaches no such thing. The bible actually teaches just the opposite.

* Someone in a position of authority told her that sexual pleasure was for the man. There are some bad apples who think this way, but most men do not.

* She had an authority figure who told her, as she was growing up, that men want women for nothing but to satisfy their sexual appetites. A few are like that. The majority aren’t * Your husband has never learned how to make love so it is a pleasure to you. He needs to read our books: Forever My Love and Keep Love Exciting and Lasting.

Tell your man today that you need his help because you are determined to conquer this: “I want our marriage to survive, Honey, and I know this is an important part of that.” He’ll be deeply grateful that you love him enough to try, not only to come to the point of desiring him, but because you want to save your marriage.

Your goal will be to like – adore – cherish lovemaking – not dislike or just tolerate it. Unless you make a conscious effort to change this attitude you may lose your marriage as a result. Save your marriage – start on it today.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

Marriages in trouble can find help. You are not alone. 100′s of thousands have used our marriage advice. Save your marriage today, and get separate help for men This article, Should A Marriage Be Saved When A Woman Hates Sex? is released under a creative commons attribution licence.

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