The last time I saw Gerry he was selling drugs. I accidentally ran into him downtown. He always had been conversant and he told me everything, “You aren’t going to turn me in, are you?” he asked. Actually, I wasn’t sure of his real name and I didn’t know where he lived, so that would have been difficult. Vance had become acquainted with him several years before, helped him turn his life around, at least temporarily, and brought him to our house. With Vance’s help, he had given up taking or selling drugs.
His parents had been extremely poor role models and his upbringing was shoddy at best. His mother, a nurse, had stolen drugs and started her kids on them. So his background had included stints in juvenile hall and later, prison. Before we met him, he’d had a baby by one woman he dearly loved, but because he was taking drugs and tended to be homicidal, she left him. He couldn’t save the relationship.
Once he had a child he really tried to turn his life around. He married the next girlfriend but the same thing happened. She left him out of fear, despite his desires to save the marriage.
He had married another women when I saw him again and, he told me, since he wanted a lot of money, for prestige as much as anything, he had gone back to selling drugs.
Taking drugs, whether recreational or prescribed, is just plain foolish. When life becomes puzzling, hard and frustrating, many, unable to endure until they discover an answer, take the easy way out and alter reality with chemicals. Despite the fact that, for a short period of time while they are indulging they can forget their troubles, feel good and “handle it,” (as they all say), when they are clean, they discover that their problems are still there. Remember the commercial about this is your brain on drugs Just imagine how bad your problems become on drugs. Drugs add another dark and…shall we say it?… evil dimension to their lives, their marriages, their perception of things.
It is very difficult to heal a marriage if drugs are involved. In fact, it’s very difficult to deal at all with a person who indulges – because they go off the drugs, get into rehab, come out clean, get a new life – and then, like a dog going back to its own vomit, they do drugs again. When we deal with a troubled marriage or life that is complicated even further that way, we say to ourselves, “Tell me again why we are using our energy and time trying to help these people who won’t help themselves.”
Your spouse, your children, your extended family, and you have a beautiful life ahead of you once you get rid of this devilish habit once and for all. Many people have actually won the fight. You will need help, but the ultimate decision to conquer is yours. Discover your weaknesses and what caused them.
Your spouse, your children, your extended family, and you have a beautiful life ahead of you once you get rid of this devilish habit once and for all. It has been done by many. You will need help, but the ultimate decision to conquer is yours. Through a system of self discovery you can identify your weaknesses. Then fight them as if you were a soldier going into battle and your life depended upon your using the weapons that are at your disposal against the enemy. Pray. Ask God for help. Then continue to do your part. Victory will be yours.
We have more on addictions as well as saving your marriage in our material and books at Love Relationship Headquarters. Keep fighting.
Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com
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